As we approached this cache I could see the wife would not be able to help as she was still recuperating from her broken foot.  I had parked too far away from the first stage for her to walk down the hill.  So, I went on my own and left her in the car to wait.  When I got to the first stage I met a frustrated female cacher.  Not wanting to cast aspersions on her character, for she in no way acted inappropriately, she will remain anonymous.  I will not use her name but instead refer to her as “Red”.  This way no one will ever be able to figure out her identity.

As I was saying, I met Red at the first stage.  She was glad to see someone show up to give her a hand.  When I first saw her she was on her back laying on the muddy ground searching the bottom of the sign for a clue.

Red:  “Look out for the snake.”

She pointed to the big Blue Racer hanging in the bushes.  Well, I must admit I had never met a woman like this.  Not afraid of snakes and willing to lay in mud to find a cache, I was intrigued.  My wife would have been running back to the safety of the car and complaining of how her shoes got dirty.

Red:  “Give me a boost so I can see the top of the sign.”

I cupped my hands and she stepped into them and searched the top but found nothing.  After she got down I looked over the sign to see what I could find.  Shortly, I found the clue for the final.  The way Red fawned on me for making this find was foreign to me.  She seemed genuinely impressed with my caching abilities.  All I usually hear is "dumb luck" or "how on earth did YOU find that?"  Happily Red and I made our way to the final.  It was a short walk into the woods to a downed tree with thick brush.  Feeling cavalier I tried to help Red over the log.  As usual my foot got caught on a branch.  As I fell I didn’t let go of Red and pulled her on top of me as we hit the ground.  My shirt was torn and we were both covered in mud.  After we untangled I could tell Red’s opinion of me had fallen tremendously.  We made the quick find of the cache and went back to our cars.

The wife had gotten bored and was standing at the top of the hill as we approached.  Red had twigs sticking out of her hair and I was a mess.

Wife:  “What have you two been up to?”

Red raced to her car and sped away, leaving me alone to face the wrath of the wife by myself.  My recent admiration for her faded as quickly as her car.  Having to fend for myself, I did the only thing that might avoid trouble.  I lied.

Me:  “That woman tried to seduce me.  It was an awful fight but I prevailed and got away.”

I don’t know what reaction I was expecting but hysterical laughter was not on the list.  The wife sounded like a hyena at the Improv.  I’m not sure what she found so funny.  Was it the fact that any woman could find me so irresistible or that I could have had a chance to win in a fight with Red?  When she at last regained control she had an angry look on her face and said.

Wife:  “Did you enjoy caching with that woman?”

The way the wife treats me in public, one would think she is not the least bit jealous.  One would be wrong.  Its not that she thinks I would be unfaithful, her opinion is who would want me.  What she won’t stand for is me caching with another woman and enjoying it.  If I am going to be happy it will be with her or not at all.

Me:  “With Red?  No way.   I was wishing you could be there the whole time I was with her.”

Wife:  “Red?  Now you’re on a first name basis?  Admit it, you like caching with her more than me.“

Me:  “Don’t be ridiculous, you know I would rather cache with you than anyone else.”

Wife:  “Then how come you’re so dirty?”

Me:  “I promise the next cache we do, I’ll get even dirtier.”

Wife:  “Promise?”

Well this went on far too long.  In the end, of course, I had to apologize for something I didn’t know I did wrong.  I convinced her the episode meant nothing and finally we went to our next cache.  I was hoping that would be the end of it.  Of course the wife got the last word.

Wife:  “I had better never catch you having that much fun again!”

By nanncyan

The wife and I have been geocaching about three years now.  We enjoy the exercise and great scenery.  We are surprised by the parks that we never knew exsisted right in our own back yard.  We live in Comstock Park Michigan.  We are fortunate to have thousands of caches within a short drive.  We are recently retired and plan to cache around the country.  Who knows maybe we will be in Washington next July for GW VIII!  Our goal is to keep geocaching fun.  I hope our stories relate that to others.

Marvin Altena

Comments(2):

1. At least I'm not Red

   *cue wild laughter*

   Friday, June 25, 2010 Betsy

2. Hahahaha - Red, indeed. What a hoot. Thanks for sharing. Ogolook

   Saturday, February 19, 2011 James