Zap 2 It as done by The AGA Breakfast Club.

I don't even know where to start. Its not like I thought this was going to be easy. In fact my latest near-death experience, the hike to the King's Chair, is still fresh in my mind. So I went into this knowing it was going to be painful. But I was still so unprepared for the torture that was before me.

The complaining actually started on the way up to Huntsville. "I'm still hungry." "I need a cigarette." "I have to use the bathroom." Until Lazer stated, "Geez, I think this is the special needs car!"

We meet up with everyone at Madison County Lake and carpool to the parking area Parrgolf suggested. We gather our gear, take pictures, and merrily start down a nice paved road. Things are going great until we get to a creek and the posted no trespassing signs. Oops apparently we went the wrong way. I knew this was too easy. Turn around and head back to the parking area to find another way. A way that involves climbing uphill. Of course this is the right way. I have learned that in Alabama the uphill way is always the right way. We are approximately 1.1 miles from the cache.

So the first couple of hills were painful but I'm still feeling pretty good. And I'm able to keep the fast group in my sight at all times. Then we reach the top and I see that we have to now go back down. But that part doesn't seem to bad. Its being able to see the next hill we have to climb that has me worried.

The fast group waited at a fallen tree for us to catch up. The tree is across the creek that we had seen earlier. Tuxcacher points out that if it wasn't for the posted signs we could have walked a nice semi-level terrain to that point. That's a bit of useful information that I file away for later.

The cache is still .8 miles away. What? Seems like it should be closer.

Its now time to get serious and start our next uphill battle. We are scaling boulders, fighting thorn bushes as thick as a grown man's leg. Pushing ourselves past our own physical endurance. Some of our group are really enjoying themselves. Blount Mt Seekers is pointing out animal scat and deer tracks. Lazer has found approximately 1,837 possible earthcaches along the way. And some of our group are absolutly miserable. Some of them are shooting me mean 'I can't believe I let you talk me into this' looks. I can't blame them. I can't believe I decided to try this either.

We get to another point where we have to take a break. That's when Lazer gets a text message from Dib and Tasia stateing they've found 13 caches so far. How many have we found? Smart alecs. This only motivates us to finish this cache. The stupid GPS that just days ago was one of the top 10 best things I've ever owned in my life is now a defective piece of crap that is showing we're still .5 miles away from the cache. That can't possibly be right.

The next .4 miles is just plain torture. Every step painful. I would see the top every couple hundred feet only to climb up there and realise that it wasn't the top. Sometimes I would cuss, sometimes I would cry. We finally reach a level grassy area. This is nice. And we're really close to the cache site now. Then we see where the GPS is telling us to go. OMG! I turn to Lazer with pure terror in my eyes, "We have to climb that!" I think this is when I felt my mind snap.

We follow a dirt road the rest of the way to the cache site. Where did that road come from? The fast group has been here for awhile and they are climbing all over the place. They're also joined by Rubicon Cacher who has been waiting on us for hours. That cache site has been gone through with a fine tooth comb. My GPS is showing 150ft. But what is in front of me is about 250ft of rock-filled gully. That's what we have to climb. Instead me and Instant Clogger sit down and wait for someone to call, "Found it!" As we sit there we ponder what we'll do if it actually is a DNF.

IC, "Are you going to log it as a find?"
Me, "Heck yeah! I didn't go through all that for a DNF."
IC, "Me neither.

Sit in silence for a few minutes casting glances behind us to check on the progress of the search. Note that the rest of the slow group is about half way up the gully.

IC, "Are you going to climb up there?
Me, "Not if I don't have to."
IC, "Me neither."

Sit in silence a little longer. Praying someone yells "Found it" soon.

IC, "If we don't climb up there Caver Scott will never give us the credit we deserve for making it here."
Me, "I know. I was just thinking the same thing."
IC, "I guess we need to at least take a picture to prove that we did make it."
Me, "I guess so."

So we got up and started what would be the most physically demanding part of the whole hike. I think it took a good 30 minutes just to finish that part. The whole time I'm wondering how has Caver Scott gotten into my head so that now he rules my actions? When did I start asking myself WWCS say? Oh well. No matter what kind of sick hold he has on me, the fact is without CS being the heckler that he is, I doubt I would have finished this cache.

Actually reaching the cache site was more of a relief than a feeling of accomplishment. I was too wiped out to feel excitement. I found the place where Parrgolf had told me to look. Of course it was over a ledge. There is no way I could make myself go there. I actually started to freeze in panic at just the thought. But Tuxcacher, TheGadgetman, and Rubicon cacher all assured me they had scoured that area throughly, so I was satisfied that it wasn't there. We took some pictures for proof to everyone that we did at least reach the cache site even if we didn't actually find the cache.

I didn't realise it was getting so late until someone said it was 3pm. Wow! That was the time I expected to be done. We better get out of here before it gets dark. I'm also worried if I'll have the energy to actually make it all the way back. Just the thought of having to hike back out was sending me into a state of panic. I begged people to call SAR K-9 and tell her to send the helicoptor. No one listened.

Blount Mt Seekers insists that we check out the view from the power lines. When we get over there we find a teenage boy on a motorcycle and a girl 18-22 on a four wheeler. My first thought is, "I think we can take them. I will make those vehicles mine. I will get a ride out of here. I will live after all!" But the rest of my group would have been appalled if I had suggested it so I pretended to enjoy the beautiful view instead.

We start back down the gully and it is even worse then going up. For me the stepping down is always so hard. My biggest fear is that I'm going to step on a loose rock and twist my ankle. So I sat down and scooted myself down most of it. We get to the grassy area and everyone wants to take pictures. The problem was the setting sun was getting in the way. Did you hear that everyone? The SETTING SUN! Can we please stop taking pictures, pretending that some of us aren't in any real danger, and leave please??!!

The next couple of hours is kind of a blur. I was in and out of panic the whole time. I was trying to rush as much as my body would let me. I was alternateing between slowly picking my way down watching every step and sitting down and scooting over the hardest parts. Then we reached the portion of our hike where Lazer and I both start breaking down and sniping at each other.

Lazer, "Stephanie why do you keep leading us through the worst parts?"
Me, "Why are you following me? You know better then that."
Lazer, "There you go again. Why are you taking us through the briars?"
Me, "Because I thought they'd be easier to manuver then the rocks. There are no good parts. There are briars, rocks, and dead trees everywhere. We're going to die."
Lazer, "I know and when we do its going to be your fault for bringing us here."

And it would have been my fault. Who did I think I was? Who was I to think I could walk in the footsteps of cache legends like Keymaker and Vesole? I promised then that if I lived I wouldn't ever do this again. I would never lead another group to their death. I am done rollin like that.

We had completely lost sight of the fast group by now. I knew how to get us back to the creek but from there I wasn't sure were to go. I remember having a conversation at the cache site that none of us had marked the car except Clay Pigeons. Well he was nowhere to be found. They all just left us. All of the good hikers left the rest of us behind. Just left us. Never looked back. I cussed them like dogs the whole way back. I threatened all kinds of beatings for them.

We finally make it back to the creek. We now have two options. One is to try to go back the way we came in. That involves a whole lot more climbing, that most of us didn't have the energy for, and the very real chance of getting lost. Or we could go with option number two and trespass. Now trespassing is not something that I condone under usual circumstances. I am always mindful of the no trespassing signs and always respect the wishes of the landowner. But at this point I'm thinking I'll take my chances with a ticked-off landowner. I'm thinking worst case they call the cops and I get arrested. But at least I'll get a ride and won't have to walk anymore. But in my fantacies we were going to be greated by a friendly couple who would take pity on us, offer us a nice home-cooked meal, and give us a ride to our cars.

So we follow the creek. And it was much nicer. Still a lot of hidden ankle-twisting rocks but a lot more level than most of what we'd been dealing with. Then we came upon the gate that told us we were about to enter private property. We were greeted with remnants of target practice. Great. There go my visions of a friendly couple and dinner. Instead of the 'we're going to get arrested' trespassing we were getting the 'dueling banjo's' trespassing. Better walk faster.

The sun is setting, we are possibly going to be the moving targets of ticked-off land owners and now is when the girls start trying to lolligag. DixieStomper said she didn't want to walk anymore. I told her that if we got stuck out here she was going to be the first one we eat. Taz asked if that was because the youngest ones would be more tender. No, its because they won't put up as much of a fight. I know we're in trouble when we're discussing who's going to get eaten first and why.

The girls were spared from becoming our dinner when we spotted the road that we had originally walked down. Oh man that seems like it was years ago. As we near the parking area the fast group is there to applaud us. Don't cheer for us you horrible people! You left us behind! To die! Shame on all of you. If I had the strength I'd beat you with Paul's hiking stick. You are so lucky I barely have the energy to pull myself into the Jeep.

Just one more bit of business to discuss before we leave. How are we going to log this? Most of us were in agreement that we should log a find and see if the cache owner would let it stand. Then TheGadgetMan has to go and be the voice of reason and suggest that we log it as a DNF, let the cache owner check on the cache, if it is found to be missing and with owner's permission change our DNF to a find.

As horrible as it was I still enjoyed being with everyone today. TFTFun!

By Stephanie2427

Stephanie2427 is a contributing author to The Online Geocacher